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Ronda Rousey thought about suicide, her identity after UFC loss


February 17, 2016

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BURBANK, Calif. — In an incredible interview with Ellen DeGeneres on her eponymous show this week, UFC fighter Ronda Rousey discussed the emotional consequences of her loss to Holly Holm in November.

After being knocked out and sent to the hospital, Rousey examined her life after the fight.

"Honestly, my thought in the medical room, I was sitting in the corner and was like, 'What am I anymore if I'm not this?'" Rousey told DeGeneres through tears.

"And I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself in that exact second, I’m nothing. Like what do I do anymore? No one gives a s--- about me anymore without this."

At that moment, though, Rousey found strength in her family and potential motherhood.

“I just looked up at (boyfriend Travis Browne, also a UFC fighter) and I was just like I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive.”

"You're such a brave woman in so many ways, and so obviously strong physically and mentally to do what you do. So to hear you say that, I actually think that's a really great thing," DeGeneres responded.

"There are a lot of people out there who have thoughts like that, and they're looking at you and saying 'Wow, if she can have thoughts like that.' You just did a lot of good for a lot of people."

Rousey said that, in time, she realized that she can be inspirational by returning to fight despite her loss. She has said in previous interviews that she'd like to fight again in 2016, though after a break period. Rousey told DeGeneres that fighting three times in nine months made her "tired" before the fight with Holm.

"I felt like maybe my role is, everyone has their moment of picking themselves off the floor. I've gone through several of mine, but no one had ever seen me go through it. Maybe I just needed to be that example of picking myself off the floor for everyone. Maybe that's what I'm meant for."

When DeGeneres asked who she'd like to fight next, Rousey was clear in her answer. "Of course I want to fight Holly. I want to beat her and make everything right again."

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