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How to nail that first date


February 09, 2016

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    Tonight’s the night: You’ve stepped out of your comfort zone and are going on that first date with the bae of your dreams. You’ve put on your lucky undergarments and are ready to rock this night of sweet romance. We at Connect care about you and have put together some tips to woo that special someone on the first date. 
 
Tip 1: Pick them up. 
    Gender roles are a thing of the past — it’s no longer necessary for the male to pick up the female. In today’s world, offering a lift is a nice gesture for either party to make. Pick up your date from the second you see them. Carry them throughout the night. If they are too heavy for you to lift, consider alternative methods. 
 
Tip 2: Introduce yourself to their parents. 
    It’s always nice to make yourself look like a family man (or woman). Insist on introducing yourself to your date’s immediate family. If they do not live with their family, drive to where their family lives. Remember to smile and say thank you. 
 
Tip 3: Give them a nice meal.     
    Restaurants can be pricey. Surprise your date by cooking a nice meal for yourself. If they ask to have some, politely remind them that this is only the first date and you are saving yourself. 

Tip 4: Avoid the movies and take them on a romantic stroll. 
    Movies can be loud and make getting to know each other hard. Take your date to the nearest cemetery and ask their opinions on things such as death and the afterlife. Be sure to bring up the corruption of the funeral industry. 
 
Tip 5: Dessert.     
    No date is complete without dessert, but your date may want to be healthy. Give them a sweet potato, uncooked and unpeeled. Look at them with it the way that you look at a bird with a breadcrumb. 
Tip 6: Drop them off with a kiss.
    Walking is great exercise and Kisses are America’s favorite candy. Drop them off on a dimly lit road and hand them a piece of chocolate. 
 
Tip 7: Plan for the next date.
    You’ve done it, player. You’ve swept your sweetheart off of their feet and are ready to take things to the next level. Buy a ring.

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