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Dear Sarcastically Southern...


July 10, 2018

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This is the first of many (we hope!) Sarcastically Southern advice columns. It is written anonymously by a woman in Bulloch County. To submit a question, please e-mail her at sarcasticallysouthernblog@gmail.com. Stay tuned for more information on her upcoming blog, Facebook and Twitter!

 

Dear Sarcastically Southern:

 

It seems like a specific colleague of mine gets all the easy assignments, gets away with all but murder and I’m sick of it! What should I do—approach my boss about it or just keep to myself?

Sincerely, Overlooked at Work

 

Overlooked at Work,

 

First, I’d like to say thank you for being my first question!

 

To answer your question, it would be best to stay out of any issues like this — you wouldn’t want to jeopardize your own job in order to point out someone else’s faults. However, if the issues are against company policy and damaging to the company’s image (and, indirectly, yours since you are an employee as well), then it would be difficult for me to keep that to myself. If your boss is allowing her to get away with offenses like that, then talking with your boss won’t do any good. If anything, it will put him/her on the defensive and potentially put a target on your back! In that case, I would report serious offenses to the Human Resources Department. They can guide you through the protocol for your specific place of employment.

 

One thing to remember is that there are laws again retaliation in the work place in certain instances — if you bring something to the attention of your boss or his or her superiors/HR department and you receive a cut in pay or hours, that could be considered retaliation. Visit the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s website for more information at https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/retaliation.cfm.

 

Finally, don’t forget that the sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s ass every day. (Now you’re asking yourself, “What does that mean?”) That means that this coworker may be getting away with things at the moment, but if you are a team player and continue to work hard to complete your job, it will be noticed when the time is right!

 

 

 

 

Dear Sarcastically Southern,

I have a friend who only calls me when she wants something. She’s asked me to borrow money (and at times, I’ve let her), she calls me to make plans and then cancels them. There have been a few times that we’ve had plans and she didn’t even have the decency to cancel them! The last time we hung out she asked me to borrow $1,000. I gave her a small piece of my mind and have pulled away and stopped reaching out to her because I feel taken advantage of… but I miss her. We’ve been friends since elementary school. She has a boyfriend for the first time and now she’s too busy to hang out with me. I understand that things change as we grow up, but it’s hurtful that she finds time to call me/hang out when she needs something.

Signed, Tired of Being a Bank

 

Tired of Being a Bank,

It sounds to me like your feelings are pretty accurate — you are being taken advantage of. You are absolutely justified in pulling away and protecting yourself and your feelings. It’s natural to remove yourself from a situation that makes you uncomfortable or used. If you’re like me, you avoid confrontation at all costs, BUT will definitely come out swinging if someone backs you into a corner. It sounds like your friend knows that — and that’s probably why you haven’t heard from her since you gave her a piece of your mind!

 

If there’s any chance of rekindling this friendship, you will most likely have to make the first move. Call or text her, and tell her that you miss her and would like to hang out. When you get together, be honest with her and tell her that your feelings are hurt because of her actions and that if your friendship is going to continue, things have to change. You want to hang out with her because she is your friend, not because she thinks you are a loan department.

 

Keep in mind that any confrontation might irreversibly mess up the friendship. You have to appreciate that she may get her feelings hurt by what you are saying — but it’s the hit dog that hollers. On some level, her feelings being hurt means that she knows what you are saying are right…and that’s going to be the first step in fixing your friendship!

 


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