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The ultimate pep talk you NEED before you talk to your crush


April 19, 2017

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You're at a party and the hunkiest hunk of the world strides in and you about melt because you've been crushing on his cute dimples for weeks now. This is your chance. Don't even think about sipping your drink and pretending like you don't even notice him. (If you do that I might have to come through your phone and slap some sense into you.)

This is your opportunity and you're going to take it. Here's why:

He's not that great

"But he IS that great," you say. OK, fine, you might be right. But you don't know that. Right now, all he is is that guy with dreamy eyes. When you actually get to know him, you may realize that he's nothing great. Would you still feel like you swallowed a meadow of butterflies if you knew he hasn't had a job in five years or that he is rude to his mom? Probably not. Look, I'm not saying either of those things applies to your dream guy, but I am saying that he has just as much to prove as you do. So, what's there to worry about?

He's worth it

On the other hand, maybe you girding up your loins and saying, "Hi," could be the start of something wonderful. Truly, the risk of rejection is nothing in comparison to the amazing that could be.

You have nothing to lose

But really, what do you have to lose? Is he your boyfriend? No. I guess you can't lose him then.

It'll make the better story

OK, fine, maybe something mortifying will happen like you get all flustered and use one of those cheesy pick-up lines that you have in your back pocket for no good reason and spill salsa on his shoes (not that that's ever happened to anyone...) but at least it's a better story than "I went to a party and I saw this guy that I've been crushing on for weeks" because that story ends there. Always aim to make the better story.

He might think you're not interested

I do it too: the "avoid crush man like the plague lest he think that I'm crazy about him" thing. And trust me, I'm so good at it. Because of the way I treat him, there is no way my crush would guess that I've secretly stalked him on Facebook. So, mission accomplished, right? Obviously not.

Here's the real deal: Being friendly isn't going to freak him out. So, when in doubt think, "How would I act if this kid was my friend?" Then act accordingly. That way, if he's interested at least he doesn't think you think he is a lethal virus.

You owe it to yourself

You are a smart, strong, independent woman who is FLIPPING AMAZING! (I wish I could give you more specifics, but I don't actually know you... but that doesn't make what I said any less true.) Probably the reason you're avoiding Mr. DreamBoat is because you're afraid he won't react favorably. But you are one incredible lady. If he isn't honored by your presence that is his loss.

He might be thinking the same thing

He might be crushing on you too, but he's too afraid to go up and talk to you. There's only one way to find out.

You got this, girl.

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