A man living at the Pointe at Southern called police to report that he believes his now-ex-girlfriend “cut his hoody up” and “smeared jelly and lotion on his vehicle” after he advised her that he did not want to see her any more.

    CAT BURGLAR  — A pair of women’s leopard-print shoes were almost shoplifted at Hairland Beauty Supply. The offender dropped them when she was discovered and ran from the store.

    POCKET FULL OF . . . — A man crashed into a pole on Northside Drive West, but his day got even worse when police discovered the driver had marijuana in his pocket. He was arrested.

    LAPTOP TANTRUM — Police responded to a domestic dispute call at Heritage Woods Condos when a man became angry and started yelling a several people because he couldn't use a laptop.

    HOME THEATER DIDN'T MAKE IT HOME — A man was caught at Walmart trying to wheel out an entire entertainment room. He was arrested after attempting to steal a 42’ television, a home theater sound system, video game accessories and an iPod docking station. And because television and gaming just aren’t the same without snacks, he also added a pack of Oreos and a pasta pot.