WHERE’S THE BEEF? — Sounds like it was a pork kind of night recently when someone stole $350 worth of ribs and Boston butts from a North Zetterower Road location.

    STATESBORO HAS HOMELESS — A man who is suspected of “squatting” in a room in a vacant hotel was seen running from the building. Evidence showed he had been sleeping there.

    USE A BANK NEXT TIME — A West Inman Lane man left $9,000 cash, along with eight scratch-off lottery tickets, in his vehicle. He told police someone stole the items.

    SOUNDS LIKE A FUN NIGHT — A man shoplifted a video game, a DVD and the book “Fifty Shades of Grey” from Walmart.

    THAT WATER WAS COLD!! — A man on BB Road North became irate when the hot water ran out while he was showering. He used a broom to hit several things, breaking them, and threw items. On the way to jail, he told deputies he was tired of health issues and would rather be dead. He later said he only said that because he was angry.

    NOT THE PLACE — To act out. At the Bulloch County Jail, a woman there to bail out her daughter cursed a deputy and continued to argue after her own arrest for disorderly conduct. She accused the deputy of being friends with her daughter’s boyfriend and of covering up the fact that he used marijuana.

    BERSERK — A Cypress Lake Lane woman became angry when someone in the household used her baking sheet to cook pizza. She threw the food on the floor and threw an oven mitt before attacking two people. She was arrested.