AT LEAST SHE FINALLY HAD A REASON TO LOOK MISERABLE: The good news: Kristen Stewart finally declared her love for Robert Pattinson. The bad news: She only did it after she was caught cheating with her married "Snow White" director, Rupert Sanders.
In Stewart's uncomfortable, public "I love him, I love him" mea culpa to Pattinson, she apologized for the hurt and embarrassment she caused. Movie fans are still waiting to hear the same for the entire "Twilight" saga.

    BREAKOUT PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR: Just when we were getting used to Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's marriage, she engineers a daring escape usually depicted in a Lifetime movie marathon. Holmes bolted from Cruise after five years of
marriage that resulted in one child and two diminished careers. Cruise got the heels in the settlement.
MOTHER OF THE YEAR: Nadya "Octomom" Suleman took to working the pole and self-love porn to raise money to support her brood of 14 — as if her kids needed more stories to share with their future therapist.

    SUDDENLY, THE KARDASHIANS LOOK LIKE THE ROYAL FAMILY: We didn't think we'd find anyone who drank more Red Bull than Demi Moore, until we happened upon the sensation of the year — "Honey Boo Boo." Seven-year-old aspiring beauty queen Alana Thompson and her family made us "redneck-ognize" the Mayans were wrong; the end of the world came way before 12-21-12.

    SUDDENLY, THE ROYAL FAMILY IS LOOKING LIKE THE KARDASHIANS: If the royal jewels are really so valuable, why was Prince Harry showing them off so freely in Las Vegas? He gave a whole new meaning to "Las Vegas strip" when near-nude party pictures were revealed.
Ironically, Kate Middleton turned out to be the more naked royal when an invasive photog snapped private pictures of her and William on vacation. Now we know why the queen jumped out of that helicopter.

    COUPLE OF THE YEAR: With the debut of Kimye — Kim Kardashian and Kanye West — we finally had a couple who based their union on a shared value system. Unfortunately, that includes homemade sex tapes, narcissism, TMI and leather skirt-wearing.

    SO MICHAEL WASN'T THE CRAZY ONE? Three years after Michael Jackson died, the Jacksons proved they are as dysfunctional as ever: Jackson's children Prince and Paris took to Twitter to accuse Aunt Janet and other Jackson siblings of kidnapping their grandmother and caretaker, Katherine, after she went away without telling them. Turns out she was just trying to escape from Blanket's icy glare.

    REUNITED, AND IT FEELS SO ... CREEPY: In a perfect world, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" would have been a duet featuring Chris Brown and Rihanna. Instead, the former abuser and victim spent 2012 making a sexually suggestive duet together, followed by sexually suggestive tweets, followed by sexually suggestive photos of the pair — all while Brown bounced back and forth with his girlfriend.

    AND NOW, PLAYING THE ROLE OF LINDSAY LOHAN, AMANDA BYNES: As if one unstable former child star wasn't enough, Bynes tried to double the fun this year with her Lohan-esque antics — which included arrests, plenty of erratic behavior and crashing into cars. At least Lindsay is a role model to someone.

    FUNNY THING IS, BOTH BYNES AND LOHAN COULD SEE OBAMA: Clint Eastwood dragged down Mitt Romney's doomed presidential campaign when he took center stage at the Republican National Convention and had a lengthy conversation with an "invisible" President Barack Obama, who apparently remained seated in his chair as Eastwood flung insults at him.