Good advice

Yeah, I've seen a few freshmen

August 11, 2010 Jake Hallman

jake@connectstatesboro.com

    You damn kids just listen to me. And stay off my lawn.
    Okay, I'm not that old. But as someone who's seen my fair share of freshman classes come and go (no, I won't tell you how many), I figure that I might as well join the chorus over on our Facebook page and give my tips to all the newbies wandering around.
    First, you've picked up the right magazine. We're the one that cares about you, won't print your mugshot for mom and dad to see if you get arrested on some minor charge, and we'll come to visit you every week.
    So here's the practical advice. The inspirational speech crap comes at the end.
    The rest of the world is still catching up to your technological prowess. I realized this the day I saw a picture of a tough calculus problem posted on Facebook from a friend's Iphone with "hey, can anybody solve this exam question for me quick?" as a caption. It got solved in a few seconds.
    Here's a brilliant one I was reminded of courtesy of Matt Yogus: It doesn't matter how drunk you are, what you did the night before, or how soft your bed is — go to class. That'll turn a D to a B right quick.
    The cops aren't around to ruin your good time. They're around to make sure that you don't hurt yourself or others while you're having a good time. Seriously. There's been a big shift in attitude over the past few years.
    You're not a number, you're not just a revenue generator for GSU, and you're certainly entitled to speak your mind.
    There are beers beyond Bud and PBR. Check out the Beer Guy column in Connect for pointers. And remember, drinking under 21 is illegal!
    For God's sake, remember that you can make things private on Facebook. And a pissed-off tweet can go around the world in just a few seconds. It's hard to call backsies on those, trust me.
    Many of you from more urban areas are going to think Statesboro's full of backwoods hicks. There are a few, but there are a whole lot of other people who'll smoke you if you underestimate them. "Not from Atlanta" doesn't mean "stupid."
    Things rarely get done inside classrooms, boardrooms or at meetings. If you really want to find out how Statesboro operates, spend a few mornings at Snooky's and become friends with the regulars.
    If you're a musician, it's easy to form a band and get gigs around here. Just don't expect to play many shows if you act like a jackass to the owners, managers and wait staff. There's always another band, and even if they're not as good, they'll probably work cheaper and be nicer people.
    Wal-Mart doesn't always have the lowest prices on things. Check out some of the locally-owned stores in town for some real customer service.
    If you act like you're part of the "Jersey Shore" cast, people will try and run over you in their cars, and rightly so.
    The Georgia law about stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks is taken more as a general suggestion hereabouts. Speaking of, though the stretch of South Main between Gnat's Landing and Kbob Kelly's seems very crossable, look both ways.
    You're at Georgia Southern, not at UGA. I'll remind you of that gently. Most folks around here won't be as nice.
    This town had a song named after it, and we won't let you forget it. Ever.
    Spend your first couple of weeks checking out every local restaurant and bar in town. Figure out the ones that you like, and patronize 'em often.
    Some people will want to take advantage of you, some genuinely want to help you. If they only come a-callin' when they need your vote, your cash or your car, that's a dead giveaway.
    SGA isn't a joke, but it's treated like one. Run. You'll probably win. If nothing else, it's a valuable check mark on your resume.
    You're also part of a community now. It's easy to be myopic and think that it includes just students. It doesn't. You're a grown-up now, and in the real world.
    Don't freak out. You're not expected to know everything. In fact, make a few mistakes. You'll learn from 'em, and be better for it.
    But don't forget that you're a citizen of Statesboro, and have just as much a stake in the town as people who've lived here for 50 years. Don't insulate yourself in academia. There's a lot more fun stuff out there if you wander off-campus from time to time.
    Go downtown, f'rinstance. Or check out Splash in the Boro. Heck, even head out into the wilds of Bulloch County and check out the unique cultural experience that is Silver Creek Saloon.
    Remember that your major and your classes don't define who you are. I got a music degree and ended up working in journalism for years. And if you figure out that you're in the wrong major, or your passions lie elsewhere, don't be afraid to switch things up.
    And you're not alone. No matter what you're into — furries, geeks, jocks, SCA. fencing, football, computers, fast cars, random hookups or driving nails into your head — you'll find several kindred spirits at GSU.
    Jake Hallman is interim editor of Connect Statesboro. He can be reached via e-mail at jake@connectstatesboro.com, or at (912) 489-9405.

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